Home > Odds and Ends > Norm MacDonald Presents: Oscar Night 2011

Norm MacDonald Presents: Oscar Night 2011

This year I watched the Oscars with a theatre full of people, possibly the first time I’ve made it all the way through with other people there to witness the feat. Except this year I didn’t feel the need to congratulate myself, because it wasn’t really much of a feat. The 2011 Academy Awards weren’t just watchable; they were actually enjoyable.

This year was also the first time I followed the Oscars on Twitter alongside the actual broadcast and the experience was the final push I needed to get over my seething hatred of 140-characters-or-less. Let’s just get this out there: the real winner of the Oscars wasn’t Natalie Portman, Colin Firth, or Tom Hooper: it was Norm MacDonald. Last night was the closest I’ll ever get to hanging out with Norm MacDonald (dear god I hope that’s not true) and it was every bit as magical as I would expect. I think the best way to revisit the ceremonies is to work our way through the vast and complex terrain of Norm’s Twitter feed. A selection (in chronological order):

Oh I just realized the oscar awards are going to be on the tv tonight. Don’t forget to watch freinds.

The oscar tv show starts right now.

the oscar show just started

bring back kirk douglas. this is getting dull.

in australia people are barfing counterclockwise

they won sound? i watched that movie and i couldnt hear a word [Re: Inception]

i wonder how they make sound. that would be a cool talent to have

edit the sound of your goddam voice

isnt that the bachelorette

the wolfman. i hope he wins


i beleive in wolfmans before i beleive you guys have wives

oh randy newmans really cool

i think ill go listen to him on my ipod while he does this shit

i wonder why singers close there eyes

i wish i could close my ears

that was very insulting saying oprah was coming up and then showing a giant elephant. shame on you academy [FTW]

i think a guy did this with a computer but of course no one will ever thank a computer.

the winner of this gets an award plus gets to breathe some of oprahs air

when hairplugs met sally [Re: Billy Crystal]

inception. i fell asleep in the movie woke up and it made no difference

the great thing about this is its not dragging on at all.

by the time the dead guy montage starts kirk douglas will be in it

i want randy newman to win


randy newman is cool.

hes so funny he makes gyweneth paltrow look like a godawful singer. [Side salad: that’s because Gwyneth Paltrow is a godawful everything]

its not the load that breaks you down its the way you carry it. what the fuck does that mean?

good idea. dont let them speak. that wouldnt be interesting at all. [Re: Kevin Brownlow, Francis Ford Coppola, and Eli Wallach]

yhat dress makes her look pregnant [Re: a very pregnant Natalie Portman]

purple is very pregnanting

ok shut up

play the shut up music

cue the shutup music please

beautiful speech natalie

i wasnt inspired.

very few monarchs inspire me

wolfmans inspire me

underpriveleged children singing offkey to a gay anthem. what better ending.

and now 364 days of relative tranquility

good night everybody. i love you. peace.

  1. Juice
    February 28, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    Someone called this – IF those tweets came from anyone else you might chuckle but when you know its Norm and you ‘read them in Norms voice’ it becomes the funniest damn thing ever.

    Hate to be a name-dropper douche when i mention I have hung out with Norm in-person but I say that just to mention – Norm is actually a helluva decent man with a genuine kind heart. Which may be hard to believe based on his Twitter lol

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