Archive for the ‘Empty Calories’ Category

Seriously Weird Show

March 14, 2011 Leave a comment

When I heard about Heidi Klum’s new Kids Say the Darndest Things-rip-off Seriously Funny Kids, I made a note to watch the premiere. Eight o’clock on Tuesday, February 15, however, found me in my neutral position: on the couch watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia on my laptop despite the Rogers cable box staring at me from on top of the TV promising hundreds of channels to suit any mood. At around 9:30 I realized I had missed the show. (Maybe I should come up with a better system than writing things down on scraps of paper and shoving them in my bag. I guess that system’s called an iPhone but I’m fiercely and irrationally loyal to my red-and-black Samsung flip phone; we’re about to celebrate our third anniversary together.) ANYWAY, last night I caught a few minutes of the show during a Sunday evening lull and I was surprisingly repelled. I didn’t expect to particularly like the show; I think it’s safe to say I’m not exactly the its target audience. But I also didn’t expect to react with such visceral disgust.

I saw four segments before I reached my threshold. First, I watched a close-up of a boy, maybe four years old (although I”ll be the first to admit my estimates re: age may be wildly off the mark) with a huge booger hanging off his right nostril. I think the booger eventually popped but I can’t be sure exactly how this transpired because my roommate and I instantly shielded our eyes the moment the child’s mucous overtook about two-thirds of the TV screen. This went on for an agonizing period of time (probably only about a minute but it seemed like hours) before the poor kid was put out of his misery. Read more…


Zack Morris Meets Dawson Leery

November 21, 2010 Leave a comment

Zack the Dreamboat

Dawson the sad sack

I don’t think I need to elaborate on this. Best. News. Ever. Every girl who grew up in the 90s is dying with anticipation to see these two on screen together. The only thing that could make my childhood dream coming true any better, is if they were both set to star in the re-vamped Saved by the Bell series as opposed to this new show, which, quite frankly, sounds like it will get cancelled pretty quickly. What ever happened to Jimmy Fallon’s attempts to reunite the cast of Saved by the Bell?

Since I don’t have TNT, which is where this meeting will occur, I will have to witness the encounter online after it airs. However, I could be enticed to order TNT if Zack and Dawson met in the good old Creek. Zack would realize that Pacey is the cool one and he’d drop Dawson. Then there could be a juicy new love triangle consisting of Pacey, Joey, and Zack. Now that, I’d pay to see, because unlike Dawson, Zack (who can do better than the heartbreaker, Kelly) may actually be a worthy opponent for the seemingly perfect Pacey. Maybe.


November 20, 2010 Leave a comment

Rebel with long hair who isn't into prom + Blonde popular girl who has dreamt of prom her whole life = Best movie ever

I may be temporarily over Aimee Teegarden as Julie Taylor on Friday Night Lights, but I’m so stoked to see her new flick, Prom. This guy is no Zac Efron, but he’ll do. The film isn’t out until April of next year, but I’ve already watched the trailer upwards of 17 times, each time wishing that I was 17 again (Zac Efron really is the best) so that I could re-live my own prom. In classic Disney fashion, the trailer is full of cheese, predictable plots, and of course, a happy ending.

Unlike its predecessor, High School Musical, the trailer for Prom shows no clips of characters breaking out into song or performing unplanned, yet completely choreographed and professional dance routines. While High School Musical went straight to Television until the 3rd and final film in the series, which is truly a shame since the films were awesome, Prom will be going straight to the big screen. Anyone who is laughing at me right now should remember that Glee is popular. At least High School Musical sends out a positive message. What has Glee ever done- aside from hurting my Lindsay’s feelings? I digress. I have just over 5 months to find the perfect dress to wear to the theatre on opening night.

Live-Blogging Gwyneth Paltrow on Glee

November 16, 2010 Leave a comment

7:53 pm: Getting ready to watch the first whole episode of Glee since I wholeheartedly discarded it before I even made it to the first season finale. I tried to watch the Rocky Horror Halloween episode (it was a slow night) but I didn’t make it past the first 20 minutes. Combine that with my seething hatred for Gwyneth Paltrow, and I’m really not looking forward to this somewhat rash decision.

7:58 pm: Lowe’s commercial attempts to be post-racial.

8:00 pm: Arghsdjhgdfhghg I want to die. Read more…

Friday Night Lights Countdown – 8 days

October 19, 2010 Leave a comment

"Mindy, I love you, but I can see your crack."

So Friday Night Lights may have been pulled from ABC Family’s lineup, but let’s not take this too personally. After all, ABC Family still airs the tragedy that is Greek. FNL is above that. In fact, it is above everything. It is, hands down, the best show that has ever existed. Ever. I really hope I’m not speaking too soon and that the fifth and final season doesn’t disappoint, but I don’t see how it could. Take a look at this smokin’ hot new promo to get yourself psyched. Also, check out these behind the scenes interviews with the cast!

After FNL has its final episode, this blog is sure to become a shrine to the show and its cast members. Here is the latest news about some of our favourites to keep you occupied until the premiere:

Check out the trailer for Simon Pegg’s new sci-fi comedy, Paul, which stars our very own Landry.

Even though Lyla was one of my least favourite FNL characters, I have to give our girl, Minka Kelly, props for being the Sexiest Woman Alive. The pictures from the spread are gorgeous. She’s such a babe. If only she could act… Watch her attempt to do just that in the trailer for her new film, The Roommate.

Unfortunately, Adrianne Palicki’s show, Lonestar was the first show to be cancelled in the 2010 season. Adrianne was apparently in talks to make a guest appearance on Gossip Girl. Thank your TV God that this deal didn’t pan out because she is way too good for that show.

And the last tidbit of the day is that my favourite big teddy bear with a heart of gold, Tinker, was spotted guest starring on Cougar Town as Courtney Cox’s son’s roommate. Love him. Love FNL. Eight days!

FNL Countdown – 9 days

October 18, 2010 1 comment

Matt and Julie Post-Coitus

So I went a little PG-13 on the picture, but both of our two readers will love it. Matt and Julie for life.

9 days y’all! Wash your jerseys and whip out your cowboy boots.

Were you aware that Aimee Teegarden was cast in Scream 4?

Also, did you know that our very own QB1 is set to play a doctor in Shonda Rhimes’ new mid-season show, Off the Map? I’m not a fan of her other show, Grey’s Anatomy, but I’ll watch anything Gilford is a part of. I sat through Dare for him. I endured 92 minutes of Emmy Rossum for him. He’s worth it. Plus this new show is set in South America. Cool, right?

Devon Sawa Joins Nikita

Christina Ricci and Devon Sawa had the best 10-year-old chemistry I’ve ever seen. Both in Now and Then and in Casper, their pre-pubescent love was undeniable. Christina Ricci went on to become a successful film star, getting coveted roles in films such as Sleepy Hollow and Monster. She left her childhood love behind, and his career suffered because of it.

Since Sawa was one of my first crushes, I felt it was my duty to check in on the status of his career via IMDB at least once a year. Each time I searched his name, I hoped that some new project would come up– even a budget Canadian production. I would google search images of him to see if there were any recent pics. Photos were hard to come by, but I did manage to find a few which suggested that he had put on some weight. But chubby or not, I still had a soft spot for the eldest Wormer brother. I watched both Final Destination and Slackers, not because I wanted to, but because they were worth sitting through just to see his face. I watched Eminem’s music video for the song Stan on repeat the year it came out.

The wait for something new is now over. Yesterday while performing my yearly search on Devon, I discovered that he is now making his way onto TV screens everywhere. He will be starring alongside Shane West in the new version of Nikita. Unfortunately, we will have to see a month’s worth of episodes before Sawa makes his first appearance on October 9, 2010. Let’s hope the show doesn’t get cancelled before he gets a chance at a comeback. Is there any way we can call up Christina Ricci’s agent and get her a guest appearance?